I think it’s true that when we meet someone, they become a part of us no matter how small. Yesterday, a friend of mine jumped off our school building, I was at school that day because of my graduation pictorial. He was suppose to graduate this year. We weren’t super close, but fate had let us cross paths because of our interest with Kpop. I never had the chance to personally talk to him, we only talked on FB.

I found out about it because of my friends, but only til later in the afternoon was his name mentioned.

Jet Tan.

His name resonated like an echo, by the many times people had repeated his name by mouth or by social media. I peeked through our building’s 12th floor window, while a friend of mine pointed where Jet jumped, and where Jet landed. I can’t count the many times the scene played over my head. The pink shirt. The ledge. The dented roof. Back first. arms spread. no hesitation. Over and over. At first I was only quiet by the news. But during the bus ride home, his name kept repeating itself over and over my head. Jet. Jet. Jet. Jet.

And that’s when I realized the emptiness I felt. The repetition of his name was evidence of the hole that he left where he had jumped and decided he just couldn’t live anymore. I wonder how many people feel the same as I do. how much more for the people who were even closer to him?Up until today, his name is scattered among tweets of both love ones and strangers, and his timeline etched with words of condolence.

Jet, you don’t know the hole you have left in so many hearts that cared for you. You are remembered, and you will be terribly missed.

We search for any evidence of ourselves in their writings, in their  words. In the hopes that maybe, just maybe, they think of you too.

I wonder how you’re doing.